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Right now, it doesn’t look like the novel coronavirus disease (COVID-19) pandemic is clearing up anytime soon, and Ghanaians are getting increasingly worried about how much more havoc COVID-19 could wreak on Ghana before life returns to normal.
Well, here’s the truth, served bittersweet: COVID-19 would leave, eventually, but life — especially as Ghanaians have always known it – might not be the same, at least in these five ways.
1. GREETINGS, MY PEOPLE!
Handshakes and hugs are two of the most common forms of greeting in Ghana, yet both have now been discouraged — proscribed, even — by the dreaded virus. Elbow- and leg-shakes are a thing now, and we might be stuck with those for a while even after the worst is over. Bum-shakes would work, too, but . . . well, boys would be boys, eh?
2. TROTRO REFORMS
Trotros are notorious for their ability to pack in as many passengers as possible — creaking even as they do — and for their very rude ‘mates’, a nuisance especially during rush hour. If these social distancing measures last long enough, however, we might embrace the new normal: adequate spacing in trotros, just so passengers with ‘big bones’ – er, like yours truly — don’t have to pay for an extra seat to feel comfortable. You get me?
3. WHAT’S IN A NAME?
This period has refreshed our vocabulary and collective sense of humor – that’s a good thing, right? — and one of the Internet’s running jokes has been about how these new words and phrases could eventually reflect on how people name their kids in the not-too-distant future. But while this has been done only in jest, don’t be surprised if quite a few Covids and Coronas are born in a year’s time. India has already shown the way, no?
4. ONCE UPON A TIME
Speaking of India, Ghana shares one of its most enduring myths with the South Asian country — the one featuring cricket scorelines, wild beasts, cooking pots and all, remember? — while the lines between fact and fiction are blurred even more when the older generation relates exaggerated tales of their heroic feats during the oft-referenced famine of 1983. Well, welcome the latest entry into that pantheon of myths, inspired by COVID-19. Ha, how good it would be when, many years later, I sit cross-legged and narrate to my poor kids — sat at my feet — stories of how I walked miles on the streets of Accra, braving heavy security presence, just to queue up for a bottle of sanitizer! At least, the part about paying GHC50 for one won’t be so huge a lie.
5. PARTY AFTER PARTY
The longer this lockdown period extends, the more convinced most Ghanaian men will be about one of the Bible’s most universally accepted statements: “It is not good for the man to continue be alone,” Genesis 2:18 says.
Now, males are generally less enthused about settling down, but the need for female company — as heightened by the lockdown — could see more weddings (and, ahem, the parties that often celebrate them) planned and organized after COVID-19 finally eases/releases its grip. If we all don’t die by June, surely, we’d all be married by, say, December — or isn’t that the idea, dear editor?
Jo Ansah — Daily Mail GH
