African wives in the diaspora have been advised to abandon the outdated practice of using sex as a bargaining tool in their marriages.
This advice came during a discussion at the inaugural ‘Filling Each Other’s Tank’ program, organised by the Men’s and Women’s Ministries of New Covenant United Methodist Church (NCUMC) in Fairfield, Ohio.
Mr. Emmanuel Kesse, a key speaker at the event, expressed concern over the lacklustre approach of some African wives towards sex and romance compared to their Black American counterparts.
He highlighted how this attitude can lead to significant marital issues, including husbands seeking satisfaction outside the home.
Kesse criticized the practice of using sex as a form of leverage, noting, “Sometimes, things get so bad that you have to appease your wife just to get what’s legitimately yours. This is not sustainable. They don’t initiate anything, and when you do, they just quench the fire. It’s very frustrating.”
The discussion revealed a range of perspectives. Members of the Women’s Ministry attributed their reduced sexual drive to factors like work stress and household responsibilities.
Mrs. Dorcas Boakye, a Nurse Practitioner, attributed the issue to cultural beliefs, stating, “When an African woman is more exploratory, she is often labelled as spoiled, which discourages her from being more active.”
Mrs. Florence Esi Jonfiah, a member of the Women’s Ministry, emphasized the mutual benefits of a healthy sexual relationship, saying, “We equally need sex just like our men do. Beyond the health benefits, the ecstatic moments are invaluable.”
The ‘Filling Each Other’s Tank’ program aimed to address various aspects of marital and family life, including intimacy, finances, emotional needs, and raising children in the diaspora.
Dr. Edith Gyan, President of NCUMC’s Women’s Ministry, praised the event’s impact and hinted at future initiatives to address challenges in diasporan relationships and families.
SOURCE: Cosmos Adomako Antwi Boasiako/Cincinnati, Ohio
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